This post is dedicated to my very dear friend Kev…who passed away just under a year ago, June 2015. Today is 24th March 2016 and Kev should be here celebrating his 50th birthday. This is his first birthday since his passing and I wanted to do something special for him. I want to tell the world (or anybody willing to listen), how much he has inspired me during my life and hope that my story will inspire you too. I want to spread his wisdom with others in the hope that his soul will live on through my words.
First, I would like to discuss a subject that Kev and I often talked about…in one of our never ending conversations…
What is the meaning of life?
Kev and I could talk for hours on this subject and we would go off on a tangent discussing wacky theories and sometimes even start believing what we made up… We always wondered what was ‘after’ and what the point of us even being here was. Like, was all of our lives already written in stone and are we just here to play our part in ‘life’ like a role in a movie. Each and every one of us, here to fulfil our own unique destinies. We never actually once came to a conclusion because like I said….it was a never ending conversation.
Since Kev’s passing, I have done a lot of ‘thinking’ on the subject. You know, angry at the world for taking him away from me, is heaven real and is he up there watching down on me. I take comfort in the thought that he is. I don’t know what happens after death, no one can really know. All I know is that we have to make the most of our lives while we are here, while we are breathing.
Many of us take life for granted, we get so wrapped up in ‘things’ and then we feel like we are owed something. We always want more and we don’t appreciate what we have already got. I don’t have the answers of life, I don’t know for sure why we are here and what the meaning of it is, all I can tell you is what I think…
I think that the actual search for the meaning, is in fact the very thing that gives our lives meaning. (I hope that doesn’t sound too confusing.) There isn’t just one straight out answer to the meaning of life, every person on this planet has their own unique meaning of what their perfect life should look like.
It is about finding what makes you happy and then enjoying doing what makes you happy. So if you are lucky enough to know what makes you happy then….JUST DO IT! Don’t worry if other people don’t like it or what other people will think about you. If it makes you happy…then JUST DO IT.
Don’t Be a Follower
I think people these days are so bogged down with what is socially accepted to be the ‘norm’ that they limit themselves, they hold themselves back from living the life of their dreams. The life that they are supposed to live.
Too Busy to Follow Your Dreams
I know, that we all get caught up in our daily lives with endless ‘to do’ lists, work, family and chores (the list could go on but I will leave it there), that we forget to actually LIVE! We fill in every minute of our days with tasks and work. Some of us don’t even allow ourselves enough time to sleep. We walk around exhausted and tired most of the time. (Especially fellow mothers, you’s know what am talking about)
We chase goals and wish our lives away! It is good to have goals but we need to remember to live our lives in-between these goals. If you have ever heard yourself say ‘I will be happy once I get my degree” or “I will be happy once I get a new job” or ‘move house’ or ‘lose some weight’ etc. etc.
If this is you…then I am talking to you. Don’t wait another second to live the life of your dreams…live and enjoy your life now. Life is not about the destination, it is about the journey and making friends and meaningful relationships along the way. Taking joy in the little things.
We need to start spending our money on experiences instead of ‘things’ because at the end of the day…we leave this world with what we came in with!! Nothing!! So, it’s the memories, relationships and experiences in our lives that truly have meaning. So try and enjoy every minute of your life, you only get one so you might as well make the most of it! Cherish the people in your life and always remember to let them know how much you love them.
I have spent the last few years of my life in deep depression, suffering from anxiety and always worrying. What a waste of time that was! I have wasted years of my life being unhappy….why? It wasn’t till the loss of ‘My Kev’ that got me thinking…this couldn’t be all there is to life! You are born, you struggle then you die!! What a very sad thought!
The realisation of this fact shocked me! I thought ‘Rachel, pull your socks up, turn that upside down smile the right way round and make your life mean something’! Make Kev proud! So that is what I am doing and I am here to tell you that ‘if I can do it, you can too’…..shake off that dust and start living your life now!
This is a picture of My Dear Friend Kev. He stepped in as a father figure when I needed him the most and then never left me. No Matter what I did, he was always there for me….He was my cheerleader! He was my inspiration! He was my hero! He has learnt me so much about life and always told me to do whatever makes me happy. To my sorrow, I never actually listened to him till his passing. I was to ‘busy’ worrying about what other people would think….very sad, but true.
My Kev was the most talented artist…he could have been famous if he had knew the right people and had the right tools but…..unfortunately he didn’t. However, I don’t think this bothered him much, I think he felt if he had did his art as a career…it would of took the magic out of it. But he never stopped making his art. He didn’t only make amazing art, Kev wrote poems and even had one published in a local poetry magazine.
Kev was fascinated by the world around him and he noticed the small things in life that others miss to see.
Everybody that knew ‘My Kev’ knew how much of a kind and generous soul he was…. He would do anything for anyone and would give you his last to help you out. It didn’t matter if you were family or a long term friend, just an acquaintance or a stranger, if he was able to help you – he did!
He was a free spirt in this world and he felt the most peace when he went for long walks in the country, with the sun shining on his face and a flask of tea for company. But he also loved to be around people (offering and making people cups of tea), he loved to make people smile and laugh and could talk to anyone. His caring nature could make anyone feel at ease. He was the kind of person that if you met him once, you would remember him forever.
He appreciated life and knew what was important. Materialistic tendencies did not rob ‘My Kev’ from his spiritual values. He was truly an inspiration. A remarkable and unique human being. He is missed by all that knew him but we are all better people for knowing him.
I am a better person for knowing Kev. His art and kind nature inspired me to enter the creative world. And I am so glad I did. I explored different creative arts, I found out what I liked and what I didn’t like. I found my style, I found my passion and I ran with it.
Kev is the one that encouraged me to create this website and pursue my journey to make my dreams come true…My only wish is, that he was here to see it.
So Kev if you are up there watching me from where ever you may be…I would like to wish you a very Happy 50th Birthday. I hope you are happy and at peace. I am drinking a ‘cuppa’ in memory of you today. In fact, every day I drink a ‘cuppa’ for you. I love and miss you with all my heart and soul.
Some people like the lime light
While others prefer the wings
Some fall through the trap doors
While other float on strings.
The scenery is forever changing
From sky to land and sea
And in the pit an orchestra
Playing for you and me.
The blue sky is an iris
The night its pupil and kin
And the horizon is an eyelid
That holds us all within
One by one we fall asleep
As light and colours fly
And every soul upon the earth
Is reflected in the sky.
In natures dream
Where nature slept
Man woke up
And off he crept.
By John Kevin Mcelhatton
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