A journey of Self-Discovery – How to be the STAR of your own life?

How to be the star of your own life

Do you feel like you have lost yourself in life?

Do you feel unhappy with the current life you are living?

Do you feel like you can be a better person then you already are?

Do you want to experience true happiness, fulfilment, clarity and enlighten your life?

Do you want to learn more about yourself, your passions and what drives you?

Do you want to be the STAR of your own life?

If this sounds like you then the journey of self-discovery is the journey for you.

“knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom” – Aristotle

What is Self-Discovery?

Definition – the act or process of gaining knowledge, insight and understanding of your own abilities, character and feelings.

The journey of self-discovery is not an easy journey to take but is truly a very rewarding experience. Self-discovery is a journey to find one’s true self. It is the process of looking within yourself for the answers you seek to know and learning to accept yourself and your feelings for what they are.

By achieving self-knowledge and becoming self-aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, your own passions and desires and becoming conscious of your own beliefs and values. You can start living by them. These are the things that give your life meaning and when you start living in alignment with your own values you can start living the life you are meant to live. Living your life with passion and purpose.

Self-Discovery is also known as ‘Finding Yourself’, because that is basically what self-discovery is! Finding yourself and regaining your own identity. Every day we are presented with images, adverts and articles which portrays the prefect life, perfect body, perfect everything. It gives us false expectations on what to expect out of life. We lose our own identity to meet the expectations of everyone else. Maybe, you live your life in a certain way to make your parents happy and to meet their expectations… or maybe, you lose yourself when you become a parent, when it becomes all about the children and you forget about yourself. Whatever your situation is, when this happens, you will go through life with dissatisfaction, wondering why, nothing you do makes you happy.

Losing your sense of ‘self’ effects all areas of your life leaving you feeling unhappy, lacking confidence and self-esteem. Feeling like ‘something’ is missing from your life but not being able to work out what the ‘something’ is.

To know what we really want, to know what our passions are and to know what sets our soul on fire, we really need to know ourselves. Many of us go through life, not truly knowing who they actually are. Yeh, sure, we know our names, where we come from, what our favourite foods are etc. But, I mean knowing ourselves on a deeper level. Knowing ourselves more than anyone else can understand us.

To be self-aware and have the courage to be yourself, is the first step towards improving your personal-development.

Expect Change

During your journey of self-discovery, you need to be aware that some things may change and you need to be willing to let that change happen. You may need to cut certain people out your life, you may need to start taking responsibility for yourself (if you don’t already) and you may need time in solitude to heal emotional wounds and work out who you really are with no outside contributions.

You will most probably need to change the way you look at the world and change your attitudes towards situations.

I feel that compassion, generosity and gratitude towards others are important traits to practise while on your journey of self-discovery because to truly understand yourself, you need to be open to understanding others.

Why is Self-Discovery Important?

I feel it is important for every person to take the journey of self-discovery at one time in their life, as there are so many benefits to gain, so much to learn and so many opportunities to undertake, once you open those doors.

Self-discovery is the first step into improving your personal-development. And when and if you decide to undertake the journey….it gives you something meaningful to get up for in the morning. It teaches you to become more self-sufficient and boosts your confidence and self-esteem. You learn to trust in yourself and your own intuition. You will gain emotional strength, which will give you so much personal power and open doors to limitless possibilities.

Starting Your Journey of Self-Discovery?

The first step into your journey of self-discovery is to start asking yourself questions to learn more about yourself…you will need to dig deeper and be truly honest with yourself. It is a good idea to start building an awareness of yourself and your surroundings. To become in a state of mindfulness.


We all rush through life, bouncing from one task to another, without really taking much notice of what we are doing and what we are thinking. By becoming mindful, you become more aware of the present moment. It is the process of noticing how you feel in the moment and amplifying the effects of your five senses…smells, sights, sounds, tastes and touch.

Become mindful of your thoughts

Thoughts are just thoughts, they aren’t real. Once you understand this, it will become easier to ignore the negative ones. When you think critical and doubtful thoughts about yourself…For example;

I will never be confident to talk in front of that many people” or “I will never be able to draw like that” they are just thoughts…just because you think that, doesn’t make it the truth.

By becoming aware of what you think, you will be able to take control of those thoughts and eliminate the negative ones straight away because they don’t do you any good. They only hold you back from reaching your true potential.

Let go of negative thoughts

You need to let go of all negative thoughts by learning to actually listen to what you’re thinking. Once you build an awareness of yourself on this level, you will be able to distinguish the difference between helpful and unhelpful thoughts, which will help you immensely in your journey of self-discovery and improving your personal-development.

Be Brave

During your journey, you will most likely bump into things you would much rather avoid…however, if you really want to learn more about yourself and grow as a human being, you will have to dig up things from your past and make sense of them. This is because certain situations and experiences we had in our past, influence and shape who we are today. We inherent beliefs from our family, friends and surroundings and believe them without question. Some of these beliefs hold us back from reaching our true potential and stop us from being who we really are. And when you really think about them, you may realise…you don’t actually agree with them. So I suggest you prepare yourself for this and be brave and face your inner demons head on.

Connect with your inner child

When you go back I dissect your past to learn more about yourself, you need to also reconnect with your inner child. Try and remember what brought you joy? What did you do when you lost track of time? What did your parents have to drag you away from? What did you love to do before you were forced to grow up and made to believe that you had more important things to do?

These are the questions you need to ask to learn more about yourself and to find your true passions in life that set your soul on fire. But remember, if you feel yourself resisting, then you know it’s worth doing! Nothing worth doing is easy. It’s the things that push us out of our comfort zones that help us find the answers to our questions…

Let go of the need to be loved by everyone

We all feel the need for validation from others. This is a trait inherited from childhood. When we looked to adults to be told what was wrong and what was right. We all loved the encouragement we got when we were doing something ‘good’ and hated getting wrong for the ‘bad’ things we did. We would believe when we were getting told off that it was because they didn’t like us or didn’t want to allow us to have fun. We would respond back with hateful words like “I hate this family” or “I don’t want you to be my Mam any more…”.

But as adults, we need to move past this. Yes, it is always nice to be recognised for the good we do but if you are only doing ‘good’ to get recognition for it…then you will be forever disappointed. You need to do good because it makes you feel good…otherwise what the point of it. We sometimes have to do things we don’t particularly want to do to help others but ultimately, once you see the other person benefiting from your help…it will make you feel good on the inside.

However, on the flip side…don’t do what anybody asks you…just to make them like you. No matter what you do, you will never be able to keep everyone happy. Changing yourself into someone you’re not, to be liked or loved by another person is unauthentic and will ultimately make you unhappy. You NEED to learn to be yourself and once you embrace who you really are, the right people will come to you and like and love you for who you really are. This is far more rewarding then having someone like you for who you are pretending to be.

Be your own weird, quirky and authentic self and you will attract like-minded people who will love you for who you are…these are the people that matter!

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ~Maya Angelou

Tips to take with you on your journey

  • Step out your comfort zone – always make sure you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Remember, if you feel yourself resisting, then you know it’s worth doing!
  • Become a forever beginner – always try new things…there maybe something out there that you are really good at but you will never know if you don’t look. Take a class, find a hobby and keep exploring.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help – asking for help does not mean you are not capable…it means you are brave enough to reach out and get what you want. Find a mentor and don’t be scared to get self-help books. Those books are filled with wisdom from people who have lived through exactly what you are living through, don’t be stubborn and think you know better because there is always something new to learn out there.
  • Meditation / Affirmations / Journalling – Yes, this again. This should be my mantra. Meditation, affirmations and journalling practises help you to connect with your soul, your inner self….your true self. They help you stay grounded, present, motivated and focused.
  • Be ready for dead ends – you will most like bump into many dead ends during your journey of self-discovery but don’t let this discourage you…this journey has no set deadline to be finished, so be patient and don’t rush…everything will happen in its own time.

Last words

Well this brings me to the end of my post…but I would like to offer you a “Self-Discovery Journal Prompts” booklet to help you on your way. Just click here to find your free PDF download. It is filled with thought provoking questions that will help you explore and understand yourself on a deeper level.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I do hope this has helped you in some way or encouraged you to take your own journey of self-discovery. Please leave me a comment down below if you have anything to add or have any questions to ask.

Also if there is a certain subject you would like me to write about, please do not hesitate to contact me and I will do my best to help you.

If you want to learn more about Miss Rachel B (click here)

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What Is The Meaning Of Life?

What is the meaning of life

This post is dedicated to my very dear friend Kev…who passed away just under a year ago, June 2015. Today is 24th March 2016 and Kev should be here celebrating his 50th birthday. This is his first birthday since his passing and I wanted to do something special for him. I want to tell the world (or anybody willing to listen), how much he has inspired me during my life and hope that my story will inspire you too. I want to spread his wisdom with others in the hope that his soul will live on through my words.

First, I would like to discuss a subject that Kev and I often talked about…in one of our never ending conversations…

What is the meaning of life?

Kev and I could talk for hours on this subject and we would go off on a tangent discussing wacky theories and sometimes even start believing what we made up… We always wondered what was ‘after’ and what the point of us even being here was. Like, was all of our lives already written in stone and are we just here to play our part in ‘life’ like a role in a movie. Each and every one of us, here to fulfil our own unique destinies. We never actually once came to a conclusion because like I said….it was a never ending conversation.

Since Kev’s passing, I have done a lot of ‘thinking’ on the subject. You know, angry at the world for taking him away from me, is heaven real and is he up there watching down on me. I take comfort in the thought that he is. I don’t know what happens after death, no one can really know. All I know is that we have to make the most of our lives while we are here, while we are breathing.

Many of us take life for granted, we get so wrapped up in ‘things’ and then we feel like we are owed something. We always want more and we don’t appreciate what we have already got. I don’t have the answers of life, I don’t know for sure why we are here and what the meaning of it is, all I can tell you is what I think…

I think that the actual search for the meaning, is in fact the very thing that gives our lives meaning. (I hope that doesn’t sound too confusing.) There isn’t just one straight out answer to the meaning of life, every person on this planet has their own unique meaning of what their perfect life should look like.

It is about finding what makes you happy and then enjoying doing what makes you happy. So if you are lucky enough to know what makes you happy then….JUST DO IT! Don’t worry if other people don’t like it or what other people will think about you. If it makes you happy…then JUST DO IT.

Don’t Be a Follower

I think people these days are so bogged down with what is socially accepted to be the ‘norm’ that they limit themselves, they hold themselves back from living the life of their dreams. The life that they are supposed to live.

Too Busy to Follow Your Dreams

I know, that we all get caught up in our daily lives with endless ‘to do’ lists, work, family and chores (the list could go on but I will leave it there), that we forget to actually LIVE! We fill in every minute of our days with tasks and work. Some of us don’t even allow ourselves enough time to sleep. We walk around exhausted and tired most of the time. (Especially fellow mothers, you’s know what am talking about)

We chase goals and wish our lives away! It is good to have goals but we need to remember to live our lives in-between these goals. If you have ever heard yourself say ‘I will be happy once I get my degree” or “I will be happy once I get a new job” or ‘move house’ or ‘lose some weight’ etc. etc.

If this is you…then I am talking to you. Don’t wait another second to live the life of your dreams…live and enjoy your life now. Life is not about the destination, it is about the journey and making friends and meaningful relationships along the way. Taking joy in the little things.

We need to start spending our money on experiences instead of ‘things’ because at the end of the day…we leave this world with what we came in with!! Nothing!! So, it’s the memories, relationships and experiences in our lives that truly have meaning. So try and enjoy every minute of your life, you only get one so you might as well make the most of it! Cherish the people in your life and always remember to let them know how much you love them.


I have spent the last few years of my life in deep depression, suffering from anxiety and always worrying. What a waste of time that was! I have wasted years of my life being unhappy….why? It wasn’t till the loss of ‘My Kev’ that got me thinking…this couldn’t be all there is to life! You are born, you struggle then you die!! What a very sad thought!

The realisation of this fact shocked me! I thought ‘Rachel, pull your socks up, turn that upside down smile the right way round and make your life mean something’! Make Kev proud! So that is what I am doing and I am here to tell you that ‘if I can do it, you can too’…..shake off that dust and start living your life now!



This is a picture of My Dear Friend Kev. He stepped in as a father figure when I needed him the most and then never left me. No Matter what I did, he was always there for me….He was my cheerleader! He was my inspiration! He was my hero! He has learnt me so much about life and always told me to do whatever makes me happy. To my sorrow, I never actually listened to him till his passing. I was to ‘busy’ worrying about what other people would think….very sad, but true.

My Kev was the most talented artist…he could have been famous if he had knew the right people and had the right tools but…..unfortunately he didn’t. However, I don’t think this bothered him much, I think he felt if he had did his art as a career…it would of took the magic out of it. But he never stopped making his art. He didn’t only make amazing art, Kev wrote poems and even had one published in a local poetry magazine.

Kev and maralin
This is Kev doing street art.
Kevs art
Here Kev made sculptures out of spoons and folks. (left to right) Deer, Flower, Bull & horse.

Kev was fascinated by the world around him and he noticed the small things in life that others miss to see.


Everybody that knew ‘My Kev’ knew how much of a kind and generous soul he was…. He would do anything for anyone and would give you his last to help you out. It didn’t matter if you were family or a long term friend, just an acquaintance or a stranger, if he was able to help you – he did!

He was a free spirt in this world and he felt the most peace when he went for long walks in the country, with the sun shining on his face and a flask of tea for company. But he also loved to be around people (offering and making people cups of tea), he loved to make people smile and laugh and could talk to anyone. His caring nature could make anyone feel at ease. He was the kind of person that if you met him once, you would remember him forever.

He appreciated life and knew what was important. Materialistic tendencies did not rob ‘My Kev’ from his spiritual values. He was truly an inspiration. A remarkable and unique human being. He is missed by all that knew him but we are all better people for knowing him.

My Inspiration

I am a better person for knowing Kev. His art and kind nature inspired me to enter the creative world. And I am so glad I did. I explored different creative arts, I found out what I liked and what I didn’t like. I found my style, I found my passion and I ran with it.

Kev is the one that encouraged me to create this website and pursue my journey to make my dreams come true…My only wish is, that he was here to see it.

So Kev if you are up there watching me from where ever you may be…I would like to wish you a very Happy 50th Birthday. I hope you are happy and at peace. I am drinking a ‘cuppa’ in memory of you today. In fact, every day I drink a ‘cuppa’ for you. I love and miss you with all my heart and soul. 

Kev’s Poem

the blue iris

Some people like the lime light

While others prefer the wings

Some fall through the trap doors

While other float on strings.

The scenery is forever changing

From sky to land and sea

And in the pit an orchestra

Playing for you and me.


The blue sky is an iris

The night its pupil and kin

And the horizon is an eyelid

That holds us all within


One by one we fall asleep

As light and colours fly

And every soul upon the earth

Is reflected in the sky.


In natures dream

Where nature slept

Man woke up

And off he crept.

By John Kevin Mcelhatton

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How to Un-Clutter Your Mind With A Brain Dump?

Brain Dump

Since I keep talking about brain dumps in my posts I thought it would be appropriate to dedicate a whole post discussing what a brain dump actually is and how to do one.

What is A ‘Brain Dump’?

Brain dumping is the process of writing down everything you have floating around in your head. Some people like to call them a Master ‘To Do’ lists and some people call them ‘brain spew’ (yummy). However, whatever you would like to call it, it is a very powerful tool to help you organise and take control of your thoughts.

Brain dumping is like spring cleaning your mind, clearing away all those mental cobwebs and organising all your physiological clutter.

Why Are Brain Dumps Effective?

Our brains can generate thousands of thoughts every day. We are constantly thinking from the moment we wake up till the second we go to sleep. Some are just one off thoughts and others are the same thoughts going around in circles. It is like they are on a merry-go-round and every so often they will pop up to say ‘hello’. We may acknowledge the thought by saying ‘hello’ back but if we are busy we may just give them a little wave, with good intentions of continuing the conversation ‘later’.

However, every day new thoughts are formed and they join the merry-go-round. The more unprocessed thoughts that join, the faster the merry-go-round will get. This will become very heavy, busy and noisy, making you feel very overwhelmed. The merry-go-round will be so full, thoughts will be falling off and some will be clinging on for their dear life. This will make you feel stressed, confused and frustrated. Your head may become so crowded that they will start to make you have feelings anxiety. Therefore causing underlying emotional and mental health issues, such as depression and chronic fatigue.

You need to stop that merry-go-round, get all the thoughts off, give them a ticket with a number/category on and tell them to join the cue.

Our brains are designed for thinking and processing thoughts, they are not designed to store everything. This is why Creative tools, such as brain dumps, brain storming, mind maps, spider graphs and journalling can be very beneficial for your overall health and well-being. They allow you to store your thoughts on paper, leaving your mind free to focus on whatever you need to do.

When & How Often Should You Do A Brain Dump?

There is no set in stone ‘rules’ of when and how often you should do a brain dump. You may decide doing one off brain dumps randomly is more beneficial to you then doing them at regular intervals and as part of your routine. You have to just do what feels right for you.

I do brain dumps whenever I feel overwhelmed by my thoughts and at the end of every month. This helps me stay focused on my goals, re-evaluate my priorities, tackle overwhelm, manage my time and help my workflow stay productive. You may decide to do them more or less regularly, just do whatever fits into your lifestyle and whatever you feel comfortable with.

How to Do a Brain Dump?



Any scrap paper will do but if you decide to make brain dumping part of your routine, I suggest you dedicate a notebook or journal for the process.


All you need is one pen but if you are anything like me then you will like colours. I like to colour code my categories. This makes it easier on the eye and easier for my brain to process.

Timer – optional

If you work better under pressure then I suggest you set a timer for 15 – 20 minutes.

Step 1 – Empty your head

Set your timer if you have decided to use one, get your paper and pens and just start writing. Just let your thoughts flow from your mind and out of the tip of the pen. Forget what I just said about colour coding before (that will come later) and just write. You can write out your thoughts in any format you feel comfortable with. I like bullet pointed lists but you may feel more comfortable doing mind maps or journalling.


I often get out my paper to do a brain dump but once I have the blank paper in front of me…my mind suddenly goes BLANK too. When this happens to me, I do little doodles on the page until my thoughts start to flow again.

Once your thoughts run dry, I recommend you keep your brain dump out on your desk for a few hours or even days. That way, you can go back and add whatever pops up into your head. Keep doing this until you are satisfied you have included everything.

Step 2 – Divide pages into sections

Once you have brain dumped all your thoughts, it is time to organise them. I like to divide one piece of paper into 4 sections and another piece of paper into 2 sections.

Page 1

  • Family/House
  • Work/Business
  • Projects – big & small
  • Personal

Page 2

  • Miscellaneous
  • Appointments, Meetings & Calls

You don’t have to use the same categories as this, you can personalise them to whatever meets your needs.

Start by transferring everything from your brain dump into the right category. Keep going till you have crossed everything off your brain dump.

Step 3 – Evaluate

Now it is time to get those beautiful coloured pens and highlighters out. Dedicate one colour for each of these times;

  • ASAP (today/tomorrow)
  • This week
  • This month
  • Someday

Once you highlight all the appropriate tasks in the dedicated colour you may be left with some uncoloured tasks. This is where you will evaluate whether or not they should stay on your list. You could delete them all together or ‘recycle’ them for a later date. All the ‘recycled’ tasks and ideas can then be coloured in with the colour dedicated to ‘Someday’.

Step 4 – Process

OK, so now you have a couple of pages that look like a beautiful colourful mess. It is time to process them. To process them I work through them in order of priority…ASAP, this week, this month and someday. Take each ‘thing’ from your list individually and write out a detailed action plan for each one.

When you are writing your action steps out it is a good idea to follow the SMART goal setting strategy. SMART goal setting is an anagram for;






Once you have all your completed tasks and projects, you can now transfer them into your planner. (My favourite part).

You now have an un-cluttered mind and a clear plan to take action on every ‘thought’. Your very busy merry-go-round is now organised and every thought is waiting patiently in cue with their ticket.

Have you ever done a ‘brain dump’? What process do you go through to empty your head of the clutter?  Have I missed something you think is important?

Please leave a comment down below. I would love to hear your views and experiences using the ‘brain dumping’ process. 

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